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EPIPHANY OF THE YEAR – You Don’t Need to Blog

November 19, 2007 broke like any other morning with one big difference – the thought of blogging made me ill. I had plenty to say, just didn’t feel like saying it, at least in this forum. And so it was for more than a month, a blissful break that could reactivate at any time. During my hiatus I discovered that we as Jews involved in the grand conspiracy to control the media, entertainment and banking businesses of the world, sometimes need to take a break, especially after such a fruitful year. I need to read the Talmud and go to shul, I don’t need to blog. So what I need to do right now is to celebrate Jews (and a couple of goys) who have had an exceptional year in creative and clandestine media manipulation.

VICTORY OF THE YEAR – Feldman Defeats French in Epic Battle

Loren Feldman is not only a Jew, he is a New York meshugenah who enoys good food and women with ample bosoms. His 1938media videos were entertaining and often hit on uncomfortable truisms driven by the force of Feldman’s Stanley Kowalski personality. In 2007 Feldman was making his mark in a tight little circle, and then he unknowingly picked a fight with the Frenchies and took the whole thing to a higher level.

For a few days in December as Loren banned the French from his site (you can ban country-specific entry to your site) and the French Seesmic people tried to ban Loren in some pathetic display of ‘retaliation,’ we were witnessing real time prime video theatre that showed why unabashed French baiting is now a divine right of all Americans. It also showed that Loren is one tough Jew.

It started with the Seesmic Review, 12/16/07, but the heat of battle lasted more than three days through a torrent of videos on both sides of the Atlantic. Loic Le Meur CEO of Seesmic had run into the Feldman buzzsaw and he was completely Frenched. The lame-o videos that the Seesmic-ites produced to counter Feldman confirmed every French cliche going and created a few more.

Loic made two critical errors: he thought Loren was racist and he thought he was serious. And because of that Loren decided to get real serious and to taunt and antagonize and mock and humilate the French. It was amazing how many others wanted to join in. 1938Media attracts a sometimes rabid gang.

Vinny Says:
December 16th, 2007 at 10:59 pm

I love all the people calling Loren a racist. I know him personally. NONE of you do. The man is OBVIOUSLY not a racist so get the hell over yourselves.

Secondly, he made some valid points in the review. If your stupid asses watched it instead of looking for something to be offended for, you’d realize he was pretty much right. The interface sucks, the quality is dreadful, and the idea of having to watch multiple RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: videos to see a reply.

Oh, and the Flash use on the entire site? SUCKS, and it’s slow as ass.

So maybe all you wounded Frenchmen should pay better attention and stop venting your inferiority complexes as cries of racism.

Pay attention, and learn.

VIDEO OF THE YEAR – Jew Hip Hop /Crank That Kosha Boy

BUG OUT OF THE YEAR – Jason McCabe Calacanis / Goy Wonder 

Baby faced Greek thumb sucking serial entrepreneur and dog face licker JasonMcCabe&Mrs.Miller CalacanisOuzo III (left, at NYC dim sum orgy) bowed out of a scheduled face-to-face one-on-one basketball showdown in a New York City schoolyard with Feldman the Mad Bald Jew. Bloated and surly from a dim sum fest in a dowdy Chinatown emporium with lowlife hackers and blogger wannabes, Calacanis blamed his bow-out on the weather and an over stuffing of kalamata olives.  In ’07 Calacanis aggressively hawked Mahalo, the first human powered search engine. Can it work? I question the following in its Guide Notes on the assassination of Benazir Bhutto: “Although shots were fired at her, she died of a fractured skull from hitting her head against the sun roof of her car.” Is that true or Pakistani government propaganda? Does the “human” in the Mahalo equation simply cut and paste “facts” from unreliable sources and further solidify a false story? ’08 will be a dangerous time in Internet communication as questionable sources gain credibility with unquestioning distribution channels. Calacanis is from Brooklyn. He should know about this.

PERSONALITY OF THE YEAR – Brian Connolly & Friends

Actually Brian (right) is runner up, third, fourth, fifth and sixth place in this category. “So, when I get an email from Amanda it’s really Brian?” somebody asked me, perturbed by the various genders and shadings of Brian. “Actually,” I said. “That is one of Brian’s personalities. And then Brian himself has several personalities. These days it’s best to keep a scorecard before responding.” One of Brian’s personalities likes to confront adversaries in postings, email and on the phone. That is the Brian that over-thought Strumpette into oblivion and then resurrection. Where does Strumpette go in 2008? I couldn’t venture but now at least my cell phone minutes are down 50% since I started talking to only one Brian. Despite the name that implies a long line of patronage in the Chicago police force and prominence at St. Patrick’s Day beer bashes, Brian actually claims Orthodox Judaism in his immediate family. Isaac Bashevis Singer wrote about Connolly and one of his personalities in Sex and the Shtetl.

PRBLOGNEWS POST OF THE YEAR – Psychedelia baby 

See PR & LSD – a long strange happy tradition

MOST CHASTENED – Steve Rubel

I apologize for calling Microconfusion blogger Steve Rubel a shiny head Yoda and incorrigible link whore. Now that he has admitted that everything he has been frantically flogging for the past two years is bull he can only be accused of being the latter. 

MOST STALWART – Richard Edelman

Talk about a big shot Jew. Richard has his name on hundreds of doors all around the world. This year he finally admitted that we don’t need the established goy media and we can manipulate the masses directly through social media. My mother Shirley, God rest her soul, would be in love with this man. Plus, he blogs consistently even when he has nothing to say except that he had drinks with a journalist and commissioned a new study that will prove a greater need for his PR services.

MOST IMPROVED – Eric Schwartzman

He got a haircut and picked up his pants. Bravo.  But the goofball video he has on iPressroom looks geeky and dated … but maybe that sort of thing works in L.A. Is he a Jew?

BEST LOBOTOMY – B.L. Ochman

It has to be why she is like that.