Flack Back Mintzing Words And Parsing Truth For Paris

Elliot Mintz must have his own map to the further reaches of reality and a substantial fictitious lexicon to explain it to the Elliott Mintz & Paris Hiltonworld. Yesterday’s news was Mintz writing an open letter saying that he was no longer representing Paris Hilton because of a “misunderstanding” that led to her 45-day jail term for violating parole

Exit with grace, take the bullet for the client, be an upstanding chap, move on, have a wonderful life. But no, not in the drama-by-the-pound air of Hollywood and Paris. Today we have Mintz back representing the addled heiress and pretending like yesterday never happened, proving that in the world of real flackery reality is malleable, instantly revisionist, and as fleeting as fame.

Elliot Mintz, baby, you belong in the Flack Hall of Fame.

Some of the more bizarre comments attributed to Mintz:

“Whatever there was is no more,” said Mintz, adding, “I don’t choose to revisit that which is divisive. I’m only interested in that which is healing.”

Huh? Have we just descended down the rabbit hole? How can we heal if we don’t know what divided us? We are apparently talking epic terms here – like the March to Selma, or the last U.S. helicopter out of Saigon to end the Vietnam war. It is time for the nation to heal from this dastardly rumored split between the heiress and her flack.

“We had a wonderful evening, we talked, and our media relationship resumes uninterrupted.”  

Huh? Uninterrupted? Weren’t you fired yesterday? Would that qualify as a slight interruption?

Mintz said: “The rumors of our professional separation were over-exaggerated.”

How can rumors be over-exaggerated when you told us about them? Don’t they qualify as facts?

Whoa. We are dealing with some high level semantic backflips here. When Mintz is done with flackery he might consider running for elected office.

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